How many Unitarian Universalists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
- None. We accept the lightbulb the way it is.
- None. We think the lightbulb should change by itself.
- Three. One to change the bulb, and two make sure the power doesn’t go to her head.
- None. UUs aren’t afraid of the dark!
- Nine. Three to form the committee “For” change, three to form the committee “Against” change, two to abstain, and one secretary to record the meetings of both groups.
- It’s about five or six, isn’t it? Whatever is a quorum for the church board meeting. Well, plus a couple members of the Building & Grounds Committee to actually get the ladder and bulb and DO it … and of course the chair and vice-chair of the committee to supervise. Oh, they can’t come Saturday? Well, how about Sunday just before the service? The choir’s rehearsing? Oh, God! No, I’m not praying — it’s just an expression. What do you mean, I use too many careless expressions? If I gave the kind of wacky pulpit editorials you do … no, I am NOT appointing myself Censor of the Liturgy. Liturgy? What’s a liturgy? …
- Three. One to write a solemn statement that will affirm the following:
- This light bulb is natural, a part of the universe, and evolved over many years by small steps.
- There must be no discrimination against dark bulbs in any form, and means must be found for all “dark” bulbs to take their place alongside light bulbs on a basis of equality.
- We affirm the right of all bulbs to screw into the sockets of their choice regardless of the bulb’s illumination preference.
- UUs seek for each light bulb the fullest opportunity to develop itself to its full electrical potential.
One to read this statement, even if s/he is the only human being to do so; the reader will then write the obligatory criticism and dissent. And one to light a candle instead of cursing the darkness.