parental statement of the day

So I was just on the phone with my husband; he and my son went camping yesterday with some other people from church at Green River Lake State Park. My husband was talking to me about what they’d been doing, when he stopped, and I heard him say in a serious and semi-urgent tone to my son,

It’s alive, Will. Don’t mess with it.

My head filled instantly with images of every live thing that could possibly be in or around a Kentucky lake and the surrounding woods. Scorpions! Skunks! Copperheads! It turned out to be a moth; the warning tone was for the moth’s sake, not my son’s.

Anyway, this single sentence, heard out of context, struck me as extremely funny., while they were camping at Green River, I was performing at Blue River. Afterward, I came home and slept in my nice, soft bed. To be honest, the whole idea of camping just doesn’t work for me. Hard ground. Dampness. Bugs. Cold. Questionable restrooms. General grunginess. On the plus side, they got to go fishing and kayaking and enjoy a roaring campfire. But for me, the controlled climate and comfy bed win every time. As I told a friend, “Camping to me means anything less than 3 stars.”

7 responses to “parental statement of the day

  1. Well done, your husband. As a moth lover (I go out regularly at night to photograph them) I have learned how easy it is to harm them with the slightest handling. Generally, there’s an infinitely greater risk that we will harm another creature than there is of being harmed by one. I agree with you re camping- for me the ideal is a 5 star resort next to virgin forest. I’m more than happy to leave all the discomfort behind at the end of the day. Here, if you want, you can hire a luxury tent for nearly 1,000 US dollars a night; a good four star hotel costs 50 . Crazy but apparently the tents are booked up all the time.

  2. “It’s alive, don’t mess with it.”

    Time when this phrase is not fun, or funny:

    Set of Sigourney Weaver movie.

    Set of a Reanimated Corpse of Chris Farley Movie.



    Loved this post, btw. 😀

  3. tomeemayeepa: When you go on explorations to the Thai wilderness to take photos and talk with native people, do you find a nearby resort to stay in? This is one of the factors that has stopped me from going on extended hiking or kayaking expeditions in the American back country — the need to camp with no facilities of any kind. One of these days I want to go on a walking tour of Britain, and I’m greatly attracted by the companies that transport all the gear and luggage from comfortable inn to comfortable inn while you walk. I just wasn’t cut out to rough it.

    missedmanners: Your list is both accurate and hilarious! 😀

  4. I like most animals. I am known for rescuing bees, wasps and other winged creatures from the tube system. They fly up and down causing consternation until someone slaps them with a newspaper or I catch them for later release. Interestingly enough, I have often been sitting there, clutching my wasp, and people have come up to thank me, presumably for saving them from being stung.

    “Most animals” includes about everything except dogs. I am not keen on dogs but I am working on it. On Saturday I met a dog on the train. He gave me that look that says “I’m friendly” and I stroked his head. It was very warm. Maybe he thinks a lot.

    My worst adventure was when I caught a wounded squirrel. I grabbed hold of it, not realizing it would bite me. It did. And went on doing so. But I kept hold of it thinking once I let it go I wouldn’t catch it again. We both ended up in hospital, I in the human A&E (they sent me home to bathe my hand in salt water), the squirrel in the RSPCA animal hospital. Next day they said they had put it down because it was too badly injured. I didn’t believe them and I still feel angry that they killed it.

    The funniest adventure may have been when we were presented with a homing pigeon with a shotgun pellet in its wing. This was in France but the pigeon, it turned out, was from Germany. They became afraid when they saw the tag on its leg, thinking it was a “military pigeon” and they might get into trouble. So they begged us, because we were foreigners, to do something with it. The police weren’t interested but we found a vet who was. Actually, they were two young chaps who had just set up in business as vets and they did everything possible for the pigeon, including using the most sophisticated machines in their surgery. They removed the pellet, patched the pigeon up and suggested we take it to the local pigeon fancier. We did. He turned out also to be the local butcher but he kept homing pigeons as a hobby. So the pigeon was saved and lived happily ever after and we returned next day to London.

  5. There’s quite a lot of wilderness close to where I live and we also have a house (which most people would regard as slightly less comfortable than a garden shed) in a hill tribes village. Otherwise, if the place is a must visit I will put up with basic arrangements for a day or two but I much prefer to stay in a couple of resorts which are in interesting country and have what for me are the three essentials- bed, shower and no noisy neighbours.

  6. Tiger, what a lovely story about the pigeon! It certainly was a very lucky bird. 🙂

  7. tiffanytaylor Says:Tiger, what a lovely story about the pigeon! It certainly was a very lucky bird.

    The French pigeon-fancying butcher told us that German pigeon fanciers take their young birds out and release them. If they make it back, so well and good, they’ve passed the test. If they don’t, too bad, they would never have been any good anyway.

    So this pigeon either got lost (I feel a kindship with it as I frequently get lost too) or got a pellet in his wing before he could make it home. Either way, I think he was better off with the butcher.

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