I do about 85% of my Christmas shopping online; this time of year, the UPS guy is wearing a path to the door. A few years ago, I discovered a company called Archie McPhee. They have a store in Seattle that I’d dearly love to visit some day, a way cool paper catalog, and a web site that will make you feel as though you’ve been sucked into a Dadaist version of the 1960s. Thanks to the magic pixies at Archie McPhee, I’ve given highly successful, way-beyond-the ordinary gifts for Christmas, birthdays, and graduations.
I’ve enjoyed my share of the Mystery Boxes I’ve ordered my family for the last couple of Christmases—after all, you can never have enough Parasite Pals or Jumbo Soft Latex Toads. But there are some other McPhee marvels I feel I can’t live without. Herewith, in case Santa is reading this, are the Things I Want Desperately for Christmas from Archie McPhee.
Jumbo Mystery Box. Always awesome and guaranteed to provide hours of fun.
Pirate Canvas Bag. Yes, I’m kinda into the pirate stuff.
Holy Toast. Heheheheheh. So simple. So clever.
Urban Refuse Aquarium Floaters. Just what our fish needs to brighten up his otherwise dull day.
Last Supper After Dinner Mints. Miraculously strong…
Deluxe Finger Monsters. I’ve always loved these. If we’re invaded by aliens, I hope they’re this bizarre, colorful, and expressive.
Seven Deadly Sins Wristbands. Anything that makes me laugh out loud when I see it has to go on this list.
17″ Latex Vulture. Why, you ask? Why not? I envision it standing atop our tall living-room bookshelves, daring anyone to “borrow” a book.
Thanks, Mr. McPhee et al, for making shopping a lot more fun.