spring must-haves for your animal friends

Here are a few items that you’ll absolutely want to invest in — I’m placing my orders today.

From Archie McPhee: Squirrel Underpants!

https://i1.wp.com/mcphee.com/resources/april08/squirrelpants.jpg“Are you sick and tired of squirrels running naked in the trees around your house? Have you had to hide your children’s eyes when a tiny furry streaker crosses the sidewalk in front of you? We’ve got the answer, Squirrel Underpants. All you have to do is catch a squirrel, restrain him carefully, slide on a pair of tiny tighty-whiteys and then let him go. Each pair of 100% cotton briefs is “Proudly Made in America” and features a 2″ waist and a tail hole cut in the back. Help the squirrels hide their nuts for the winter!”

Also from Archie McPhee, a Dog to Unicorn Transformation Kit!

https://i1.wp.com/www.mcphee.com/resources/april08/unidog.jpg“This is not a costume. This is a kit to completely transform your beloved pug or beagle from a cute canine to the ultimate unicorn. It includes screw-in horn, hoof attachments, medical grade glue, peroxide, mane fur, a tail and a handful of glitter! Just peroxide the color out of your dogs hair and attach the fur and accessories with glue. Once you have the horn in place (Dremel not included) your beloved pooch will be ready to accompany you to fairyland. Please specify size of dog when ordering. Not legal in California, New Mexico and part of Maine.”

And of course, no household like mine, where cats run rampant, can be complete without several of these handy gadgets:


3 responses to “spring must-haves for your animal friends

  1. finally something to put an end to those shameless, exhibitionist squirrels.

  2. I’m still looking for something to help the male caprines around our place look a bit more refined when they are courting. As it is, they tend to look rather like … well, randy old goats. If you see anything, give me a call, but if you get no answer, it’s because I’m out dressing the squirrels.

  3. Frankly, I’m all for letting the squirrels run naked and free if they want. And if I catch anyone trying to put a horn my my pup, there will be a fight — and not in a good way.

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