Category Archives: humor

kids, don’t let your parents vote Republican

MoveOn has released a marvelous new Obama ad. As described on Huffington Post:

The spot, part of MoveOn’s Youth Vote program, attempts to harness the cultural reach of Gossip Girl, the much-beloved (and oft-spoofed) CW hit about over-privileged New York highschoolers. Featuring some of the show’s actors…, it is a satirical play on the drug prevention spots that occupy a memorable place in television lore. Only this time around, the message is a bit more political:

“Talk to your parents about John McCain,” says one narrator.For my sake? Please?

Vote for Barack Obama.

Before it’s too late.

Advertisements

a button for every Obama fan

Thanks to a link on Daily Kos, I just found the incredible selection of highly individualized buttons for DemocraticStuff.com - Merchandise from Anti-Bush to Yellow Dog to the 2008 Presidential ElectionObama supporters at DemocraticStuff.com. They have pages and pages of them. Yes, they have the expected: Teachers for Obama, Firefighters for Obama, Retirees for Obama, and many more, all with clever graphics.

And then there are the buttons that are … less expected. Here are some of my favorites.

This one is hard to read — it says “Optometrists”

lost in translation

https://i2.wp.com/ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41g6gTQYtEL._SL500_AA280_.jpgMy daughter drives an old Volvo that doesn’t have a port for an iPod cable. We originally got her an adapter that played her iPod via the cassette player. When it broke after a few months, we looked for an alternative. It arrived from Amazon yesterday: the Eforcity 3-in-1Charging and Car Holder FM Transmitter. She plugs it into the car’s cigarette lighter (yes, the car is old enough to have one of those), tunes the radio to an unused frequency, and plays her music through the radio.

If I were to write instructions for using this gadget, they’d go something like this:

  1. Set your iPod in the cradle, and adjust the arms on each side so they hold the iPod firmly.
  2. Plug the cable into the iPod.
  3. Plug the cigarette-lighter adapter into the car’s cigarette lighter.
  4. Turn on the car radio, and locate an unused frequency.
  5. Turn on the iPod, and you’re ready to rock.

Here are the actual instructions printed on the package insert. (Step 2 is my favorite.) Note that the punctuation is as written:

  1. Insert some cigarette ends of iPod car kit in some cigarette devices of automobile of yours, and adjust the suitable angle, so that your convenient operation iPod.
  2. Draw back both arms, put your iPod into and equal to the urgent both arms , let your protection firmly of iPod among them .
  3. Will charge the plug and connect it on the base interface of iPod, in this way you can charge while listening to the music .
  4. Choose the transmission frequency of this equipment according to the local frequency situation of radio station , the switch is presetting frequency to stir the frequency band , try one’s best to avoid the frequency of the local strong radio station , then open wave band , FM of auto radio , of you , is it search platform or manual to search set let auto radio of you receive frequency that you preset automatically to choose, in this way you can listen to iPod stereo music of high-fidelity taken the place of to you through iPod car kit device .

Parts of step 4 are almost haiku-like:

then open wave band
FM of auto radio
of you

My daughter thinks the manufacturer wrote the instructions in Chinese and then ran them through a translator. Just to see what would happen, I took my version of the instructions, translated them to simplified Chinese on FreeTranslation.com, and then translated them back to English on Babel Fish:

  1. Establishes you in cradle aspect iPod, on adjusts the arm nearby each, therefore they have iPod firmly.
  2. The plug enters to the iPod wire.
  3. The plug enters to automobile’s cigarette blasting machine’s cigarette blasting machine switch.
  4. Turns on the car radio, discovers frequency which has not used.
  5. Is decided in iPod, prepares the jogging with you.

I think that (thankfully) technology has a long way to go before the writer/editor’s job becomes obsolete.

on the merits of dialing carefully

https://i1.wp.com/www.geekologie.com/2007/08/29/rotary-cell-phone.jpg(phone rings)

Me: “Hello?”

Male voice: “Hi!”

(I don’t recognize the voice. trying to think who it could be.)

Me: “Hi…”

Male voice, with sultry enthusiasm: “I’m painting my toenails, just the way you like!”

(I am utterly speechless. a pause ensues.)

Me: “Umm…”

Male voice, now surprised and nervous: “Is this Christine?”

Me, trying not to laugh: “You have so got the wrong number!”

(click!)

I’m just speechless

Just now I was listening to a podcast of the April 27 edition of NPR’s Wait Wait… Don’t Tell Me! One of the questions used to try to stump the panelists revealed the existence of the newest in macho, “d’ya think he’s compensating for something?” accessories for a guy’s truck or SUV. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, they’re

https://i0.wp.com/www.trucknutz.com/graphics/rearview.jpghttps://i1.wp.com/www.trucknutz.com/graphics/nutzsmall.gifTruck Nutz!

From the site:

Are you sick of looking at side steps and bug shields? Want a REAL auto accessory? Want a site that offers Hot Chicks, Bad-Ass Rides, Free stuff, and the funniest accessory in the industry? Well you have come to the right place. Come on in and see what everyone is talking about.

Truck Nutz – The Ultimate Truck Accessory™

Available in 10 colors, including, umm, flesh. 🙂 While you’re there, don’t forget to order some Bikerballz for your motorcycle!

the Clinton gang is out to get me…

So I was at the grocery store a little while ago, and when I came out, my car refused to start. It won’t even try to turn over — just makes little clicking noises. And this is a 2007 Saturn Vue, still under warranty. My husband had to leave school to come get me. Later today I have to get it towed hell and gone out to the dealership on the other side of the world.

Just before I went to the store, I cast my vote for Obama in the Indiana primary. Now my car is dead.

Coincidence? Hmmm…

seeing red

https://i1.wp.com/darmano.typepad.com/logic_emotion/images/red.jpgI heard earlier on NPR that one of the guidelines given to organizations that are caring for children taken from the polygamous sect in Utah is that they should, as much as possible, remove the color red from the environment. In addition, caregivers shouldn’t wear red clothes. Why? Because sect members associate the color with evil or Satan, and therefore the children might be frightened to see it in their surroundings.

As I listened, I looked at the walls of my kitchen / office alcove / dining area, which are — you guessed it — red. My gosh, I thought, those poor kids would be scared to death if they came in here.

I mentioned this to my daughter just now, when she got home from school, saying that the children would probably think they’d encounter Satan personally in this house with all the red walls. Maybe so, she said, “But you could tell them he only comes to visit on Wednesdays.” 🙂