Category Archives: sexuality

another closet door forced open

https://i2.wp.com/cuboidal.org/photos/2004/08/08/IMG_6207-medium.jpgAnother Republican politician has been caught trying to entertain his natural impulses. Sen. Larry Craig (R-Idaho) was arrested in June after making signals to an undercover police officer in the adjoining stall of the Minneapolis airport restroom. The police had received complaints about sexual activity in said restroom and were investigating. The following is from the breaking report filed yesterday by Roll Call:

Airport police previously had made numerous arrests in the men’s restroom of the Northstar Crossing in the Lindbergh Terminal in connection with sexual activity.

[Officer] Karsnia entered the bathroom at noon that day and about 13 minutes after taking a seat in a stall, he stated he could see “an older white male with grey hair standing outside my stall.”

… Craig then entered the stall next to Karsnia’s and placed his roller bag against the front of the stall door.“My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall,” Karsnia stated in his report. “From my seated position, I could observe the shoes and ankles of Craig seated to the left of me.”

… “At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. Craig tapped his toes several times and moved his foot closer to my foot. I moved my foot up and down slowly. While this was occurring, the male in the stall to my right was still present. I could hear several unknown persons in the restroom that appeared to use the restroom for its intended use. The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area,” the report states.

Craig then proceeded to swipe his hand under the stall divider several times …

Despite his claims that it was all a misunderstanding (perhaps he was just asking the guy in the next stall to hand him some toilet paper?), Craig has pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor charge of disorderly conduct.

He has also resigned as co-chairman of Mitt Romney’s presidential campaign; he has yet to determine whether he’ll run for relection.

There have been past investigations into and questions about Sen. Craig’s sexual orientation, and he has denied participating in homosexual activity. According to this long article, “In an interview on May 14, Craig told the Idaho Statesman he’d never engaged in sex with a man or solicited sex with a man.” Given that he’s apparently well-versed in the nonverbal restroom behavior that will hook you up with something quick and dirty, I’d say he was lying.

But who can blame him? He’s a Republican in an extremely conservative state. He’s married and has three children and nine grandchildren. He’s held public office since 1974 and has been in the Senate since 1990. He was born in a time and a place where homosexuality would have been utterly condemned by friends and family. Despite the fact that he’s almost certainly recognized his homosexuality since childhood, he would have rigorously denied it and made every effort to live the “normal,” heterosexual, God-fearing, Republican life expected of a member of his family and his community.

Craig’s family owns a ranch, which his grandfather originally homesteaded in 1899. I wonder whether he saw Brokeback Mountain. I wonder what he thought, deep in his heart, of those men and the inestimably sad and frustrating course they were forced to take to avoid the condemnation of society. All too probably, he thought something along the lines of “That’s exactly why I got married and made myself have sex with a woman I didn’t desire and have kept this dark and terrible part of myself hidden from sight.” I’m sure he hates his sexuality, which he cannot change, no matter what all those preachers say; it’s part of him, an indestructable part of who he is, and yet it defies everything he was taught growing up and all the sexual mores of the people with whom he identifies most strongly.

But despite that element of self hatred, despite his marriage and his undoubted love for his family, despite his knowledge of the myriad risks, when his sexuality screamed in his head and his desire for release overwhelmed his thoughts, he went looking for a man to make it all better, at least for a little while. Once the fire was damped he could hide again in his closet of denial until the next time desire came calling too loudly to resist.

How unspeakably sad that this man could not be, from the beginning of his life, the person he really is. He’s worked tirelessly on adoption issues in the Senate; if only he had been able to make a loving home life with a male partner, adopting children to form a family. If only his sexuality hadn’t stood in the way of family acceptance and a political career.

I hear stories like this one, over and over again, and I remain amazed that so many people in our country continue to deny the legitimacy of homosexuality as a state of being. How many thousands — millions — of Americans remain in their self-imposed closets, fearful of admitting their truth and losing everything in a wave of revulsion and hatred? How many are risking their health, their families, and their careers each day as they find shadowed ways to meet the physical and emotional needs that overwhelm them?

Why can’t we let these people live honest, happy lives?

Why do we care who they love?

suppose they invented a breast cancer vaccine…

If a vaccine became available that would stop 70% of breast cancer, I have no doubt that 99% of parents would line up with their daughters to get the shots. As parents, we want desperately to protect our children from pain — from illness — from anything that might hurt them. Cancer is close to the top of most people’s personal list of Scary Things That We Do Not Want Associated With Our Kids, and breast cancer is a much-publicized and frightening slayer of women young and old; so providing our daughters with protection against such a scourge would be a no-brainer.

But guess what? When I took my daughter on Friday to get the first of a series of three Gardasil shots, the nurse said to her, “You know, you’re lucky to have a mom who’s letting you get these shots. A lot of mothers won’t.”

I find this so staggeringly mind-blowing that it’s nearly impossible to comprehend. I’m a mom who’s letting my daughter have a vaccination that will protect her from the HPV viruses that cause 70% of cervical cancer (and 90% of genital warts). I’m a mom who’s letting my daughter avoid the things that I’ve gone through:

  • The stress each and every year when it’s time for my Pap test
  • The anxiety of receiving phone calls that my test results were abnormal and I need to be retested (this has happened three times)
  • The stabbing pain of a cervical biopsy (this has happened twice)
  • The panic at being told that I have severe precancerous cervical dysplasia and that immediate treatment is necessary (only once — so far)
  • Surgery during which a sizable portion of my cervix was burned away with a laser to destroy the abnormal cells

You’re damn right I’m a mom who’s letting my daughter be protected against all these things — and against the worst of them all, the one I fear and will have to continue fearing my entire life: being one of the thousands of women who die each year in the U.S. from cervical cancer.

In some inexplicable manner, many parents have got it in their heads that letting their daughters have the Gardasil vaccine will give them license to run amuck sexually. I beg these people to remember that when they first considered having sex, the risk of the HPV virus and cervical cancer was not even on their radar. The sex-related argument against these shots is utterly specious — a fabrication of twisted, overly zealous minds.

Friday was one of the happiest days of my life, because I was able to personally help ensure my daughter’s protection against a killer. To be unwilling to do so — to deny this protection to a daughter — is surely tantamount to child abuse.

am I pro-choice? damn straight.

https://i1.wp.com/www.bushvchoice.com/images/big_button_2007.jpgI’m reminded by Sex in the Public Square that today is “Blog for Choice” Day, a movement developed by Bush v. Choice (“the pro-choice anti-Bush action center”) and NARAL Pro-Choice America.

You can read Sex in the Public Square’s column and get a beautifully written explanation that mirrors my own opinions on the subject. I’ll go over them in brief in a moment, but first I want to make the following perfectly clear:

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sign of the day

https://i0.wp.com/www.dottyparker.com/blog/images/gypsy.jpgWhere, oh where, was my camera when I wanted it? Today we were in a blue-collar area of Louisville that has a somewhat higher percentage of adult entertainment establishments than most. The entire family was headed to a church to hear the chorus of senior citizens that my mother sings with. As we drove past houses, stores, and restaurants, we approached a strip joint gentleman’s club with the following posted in large letters on its sign:

Limited engagement!
World’s Tiniest Stripper!
3′-7″ Tiny Tina!

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French kissing and telling

https://i2.wp.com/www.mathurin.com/IMG/cache-100x158/jpg_Sexus_politicus-100x158.jpgIn America, President Bill Clinton was impeached for having a form of sex with That Woman and then, naturally enough, in our puritanical culture, denying having done so. In France, the book Sexus Politicus declares

Far from being a flaw, to cast yourself in the role of seducer is without doubt an important quality in our political life.

A New York Times article about this new book says

The book’s central premise is that in France, a successful politician is also a seductive politician. Sex, the authors say, is a civic imperative.

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public morality vs. private, consenting behavior

neon

A person can legally perform any number of paid services for another person, including massage and other bodily treatments — but said services must not cross the line into providing sexual gratification. If they do, then they’ve entered the realm of prostitution; and that, of course, must be Stopped At All Costs.

Why?

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the other TT

A fair number of people each day locate this blog solely because they’ve done searches for the other Tiffany Taylor. No, I am not going to provide any links, but if you locate her website you’ll find some, um, interesting photos of a perfectly lovely young women, sans garments.

She’s been in magazines. She’s made videos. Looking for these adults entertainments, online adventurers type in logical search terms that lead them … here. Glancing around and finding no nudity, they click themselves away: brief, uninterested visitors passing through a WordPress waypoint on their journey to personal fulfillment.

I wonder if they’ll find what they’re really looking for?